HOUSETRAPPED - THE FUNNY NUMBER AND MORE

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】

THE FUNNY NUMBER (and other dumb Homestuck shit)

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:13 PM

So

I'm gonna start off w neutral-to-positive stuff

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:13 PM

work our way down

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:13 PM

Homestuck grandfathers in a lot of its Quirks from Problem Sleuth

Which was far more game first story second

The meme there was Dumb Puzzle Shit

The meme in HS is Dumb Plot Shit

Sometimes, though, these are one and the same

First of all, the aforementioned funny number

413

Homestuck was published on 4/13, it's about 4 13 year old kids, it uses playing card imagery (4 suits of 13 cards each), and you're gonna see 4/13 a lot in the first bit of Homestuck.

This first group of kids (called the Beta Kids bc they play the "Sburb Beta") have it fuckin everywhere

Countdown timers till explosion, countdown timers till meteors, countdown timers till a different explosion

Lots of timers

Uhhh

Gonna explain the

Red Miles name scheme real quick

So

Jailbreak, the first MSPA, had a command submitted where the guy in jail looked at gay porno mags, bc, that's the joke

One was called Black Inches

Isn't queer blackness inherently mockable

And funny

Anyway

For

Some

Reason

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:20 PM

homestuck is bad

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:20 PM

Hussie was like. Yes. This is a new joke format

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:20 PM

keep in mind we're working our way down

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:20 PM

That I will

Keep

Forever

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:21 PM

he does that

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:21 PM

And specifically reference the existence of

With my author insert si

Which we'll also get to

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:21 PM

you can tell the man has a thing for horses because he never stops beating dead ones

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:21 PM

Ugh there's so much

But the format is

Color, US customary unit for measuring distance.

Black Inches becomes Red Miles becomes Yellow Yard.

They even go

And like

Specifically have his SI pause the storu

To break off a tiny amnt from a meter stick

So it can be an imperial unit instead of metric

Because

The Funny.

Homestuck references all of Hussie's past work.

Fucking all of it. All of the time.

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:23 PM

especially the stuff thats even worse

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:26 PM

Yeah

Such as

Wizardology

A defaced version of a quirky wizard book

Bc he used to just like do that, write all over a book w sharpie and make cruder jokes

And I do mean cruder

Because I do mean more racist.

Like.

Wow. (edited)

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:27 PM

the fact that homestuck is hussie after hed done some maturing is... somewhat disturbing of a realization

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:28 PM

Wizardology specifically has gay jokes fucking everywhere, like, in a very homophobic "gays are disease ridden and should die" way, and has a goddamn minstrel cartoon (edited)

By Hussie!!!!! Added in.

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:28 PM

maybe spoiler that

just because i prefer not to think about it

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:29 PM

And the key is that, at the end of it, he put a little photo of himself making a kissy face to the camera

With the words YOU'RE WELCOME

as the top text bottom text caption

and then he made himself

Like

A wax seal mould

Based on that photo

And that wax seal mould

Appears

Fucking

YEARS

Into the comic

Years and years and years and years

There's an argument to be made abt like

People not knowing the problematic origin of a meme. Like Gamergate being purple and green, is a reference to (NSFW) a hentai gif depicting non consentual sex between two male dragon ball z characters.

Tw: reference to sexual assault for above

4chan thought that shit was hilarious

And tried spamming it everywhere. And they called it the "daily dose." Have you gotten your "daily dose" of purple and green? They abstracted this like fucking Loss into just the two colors. The point was, you were supposed to see those two colors, and think, haha, rape is funny!

And so then like

Seeing green and purple years and years later

Or the daily dose meme

Without any context as to what it is outside of something to do w dragon ball

You can maybe be forgiven

For referencing it.

But like.

Hussie.

You made that book

You made this meme

It's your meme from your wax seal from your edgy book

I don't need, goddamn, everyone to apologize for everything they've ever done ever

But at some point

I'd have hoped he'd been like

Maybe

I should stop using this

But man used it into fucking 2013!!!!!!!

You don't really get to keep claiming you were just pants writing references and whatever

And you didn't need to make the reference again!

You simply didn't need to.

So. That's the You're Welcome meme.

It's one of many references to Hussie's past work

But I think it's the singular one that's the most seemingly innocuous with the worst fucking actual origin possible.

Oh, these two robots are from an old 90s rap battle mecha whatever comic he did. Okay. Whatever.

Oh, the fake arms from literally panel 3 of the comic are a reference to his old clown gore comic. Okay. Sure I guess. Why???

Just

He just.

Needed to

Disconnect.

Homestuck is alluring because it's an endless sorting ceremony

But if you're not careful, and he wasn't, it can just become a monument to You and Only You.

Hope/Rage.

Fucking log off andrew.

To his credit, he did, lmao

Uhhh what else.

Oh yeah.

There are constant references to SBAHJ

which is this like

deepfried meme masterpiece from literally 2008

that he made to dunk on tim buckley

and then decided that a character in universe wrote it

so every character all the time is referencing it

sometimes it is genuinely funny tho

I do love the got to church one

And like. I reference where doin it man way too often (edited)

But like

Fuckin

Somehow

It too.

They made a new book

SBAHJ

Written by Hussie, Dril from Twitter (yes for real), and KC Green, the cartoonist who drew

It's like

Mostly thinly veiled complaining about Twitter?????

I dont

Okay.

I

Hate

Homestuck

A lot of the time

So what I have had to do

In order to enjoy homestucj

Is completely separate myself from it.

Jan and I spent

Like

3 months. In a feverish haze

Fucking rewriting the entire cosmology

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 10:43 PM

tinker fugue

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 10:43 PM

Unironically yes

And it's been

Absolutely wonderful

W the exception of ABOR which I wrote before the 20xx story, all Homestuck stories I've written since are either a direct crossover w that lore, or incorporate it indirectly

Because it's just

Sorry man

Objectively better

Only recently, we started talking abt game mechanic changes too

Like, if Sburb was an actual game, how would playing it, like, feel? How could we modernize it?

So we decided to start working on just that

And that brings us to

Fucking finally

Our FINAL THREAD

Oh yeah also Homestuck itself doesnt like Homestuck anymore. Fans made a desktop client for HS and it's so much objectively better than the busted half-flash-half-html official site that even Hussie links to it on their linktree

Includes high quality MP3 audio for every sound-based flash (which can be disabled if you want!), accessibility settings like dyslexia font or font size, a button to remove slurs, preservation of tons of Hussie's old content

Not the worst shit tho thank fuck

My favorite thing is New Reader Mode

As u hit certain story milestones u get an achievement unlocked notification and gain access to what was released when that story beat was!

Like music albums or side content.

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:35 PM

Object duality yes

Okay this is another holdover from Problem Sleuth

Sometimes

One thing

Is at the same time a different thing

Usually it's certain weapons.

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:35 PM

kanaya has a tube of lipstick that is a chainsaw

it is both things

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:36 PM

Whatever variation is funnier, it is that variation at that moment

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:36 PM

not simultaneously, as it would make putting the lipstick on very difficult

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:37 PM

pick up that gun

What gun? (Image depicts a table with a key)

Get key

You pick up the gun. Its blistering silver metal is cool in your hands. Your ammo is locked and loaded, but it's never enough. It's gonna be a long night.

Shoot gun at door

What gun? You're clearly holding a key.

Open inventory

You have some candy corn and a gun.

Etc etc.

Only really Kanaya's chainsaw works on this, bc that's an exact weapon a character in Problem Sleuth had

Jane has a spoon that's also a trident but it's just a robot spoon

It's a reference but it's not object duality

Some carapscians, specifically most Exiles, definitely play w it sometimes.

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:49 PM

Let's talk platonic ideals

As you can guess from a world that wants to boil the ENTIRETY OF HUMAN EXISTENCE into twelve aspects, homestuck really likes essentializing

Specifically so that it can do the opposite

Alchemy rewards the stupidest looking items possible

The Snoop Dogg Snow Cone Machete is a perfect example

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:51 PM

somehow i knew you were gonna go for that one lmfao

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:51 PM

Of being as far as fucking possible from the platonic ideal of goddamn anything

Well!!!! How could I fucking not lol

It's genuinely so hilarious

I still laugh. I'm literally laughing at it right now

It's FUNNY!!!

Tho so is this

And there it goes

It has

LIFDOFF

I think there's a moment in some epic battle where Dave just fucking inf spawns like a thousand of these as an attack

That or it was the sord (edited)

Which is btw

Canon to super smash brothers ultimate (edited)

(there is a hidden Mii Fighter in the game's files called mii_sordfighter) (edited)

(as opposed to swordfighter)

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:54 PM

well if that doesnt legitimize our new cosmology i dont know what will

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:54 PM

(with a red shirt and red eyes instead of a blue shirt and blue eyes) (edited)

aorticAblution

well if that doesnt legitimize our new cosmology i dont know what will

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:54 PM

Dave on his deathbed

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:55 PM

brb making mii fighters for all the homestucks

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:55 PM

DAVE: add me but only in the stupidest fucking possible way you can think of ARADIA: it is done :D DAVE: fuck yessss passes on

aorticAblution

brb making mii fighters for all the homestucks

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:55 PM

implying I didn't spend my entire goddamn miitopia demo doing that

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:55 PM

oh truuuuue

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:56 PM

this toon link Dave skin is fucking legit tho

I love this

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:56 PM

omg

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:57 PM

This absolutely aint half bad either

Within yk (edited)

The limitations of the og Mii maker

Miitopia Homestucks are a whole nother fucking level

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 11:57 PM

the look on egberts face lmfao

._. personified

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 11:58 PM

NOOOOO ANIME INSPIRED DESIGNS AND JOHNS PESTERQUEST DESIGN

GIVE ME RAW MSPA

THIS IS TOO HD AND CREATIVE

The pesterquest design is spot fucking on tho holy shit

I love this one tho

It's canon accurate

Captures the like

Simple appeal of the og design

While still bringing some changes and liberties

This one is close but something is off idk

MY SON!!!!!!

I MEAN YOUR SON LOL (edited)

BUT METAPHORICALLY

And this one is just cute even if it's based on PQ

In conclusion

:cerealguy: they will never make good Homestuck miis :cerealPTOOOOO: (edited)

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 02:46 AM

hell fucking yes is a reference to detective pony

And then there's a customized copy of PONY PALS, a gift to you on your 14th birthday from the slippery Mr. Strider. Each page contains lovingly hand-written commentary on the deeds of this intrepid young horse. Later, about halfway through the book, rather than see the gag through to the bitter end, Strider began pasting over entire pages of original text with his own completely rewritten version of the story, while keeping all the chapter titles. His revision is a tough, emotionally draining read. But it's cathartic, in all the worst ways possible. He tends to get carried away with his projects.

(edited)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2427119/chapters/5371283

Detective Pony - Chapter 1 - sonnetstuck - Homestuck [Arch...

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I got mank to read this years ago without telling him it was Homestuck and he genuinely enjoyed it

The only thing is

Like

This book

I believe that sonnetstuck did an infinitely better job than Hussie ever could

But knowing that the joke is

Gifting defaced books, just like Hussie did back in his racism=funny days

: /

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 03:23 AM

NOTE TO SELF

TOMORROW TALK ABT

INTRODUCTORY MONOLOGUES

ROOMS

INTERESTS

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 03:24 AM

this reads like someone very awkward trying to plan out what theyre going to say at a party lmfao

like this is what miss aerith waste of breath does before she goes out

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:24 PM

A young girl types on her phone. The date is JANUARY 13th, 2022. Though she isn't in the same room she once was, she's still the same old her. Maybe moreso! Despite that, there some things that will never change, such as, for example, this young girl needing a name. What will her name be?

So the above is an example of a character intro page

Specifically the prompt part

Homestuck plays w this format bc the first page of the comic looked like this. Don't worry, I'll help w (or do) the sprite art, if you want.

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:26 PM

>Bleachchug Sparkle

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:27 PM

Before we land on their Actual Name (which is always four letters first name, and six or seven letters last name), there's a joke w funny vulgar name. Imagine the random name generator from Toontown or some shit but half the words are poop jokes. (edited)

Some of these poop jokes originate from, uh, the racist book defacings, from, sigh. Yeah. Anyway. We can come up with our own

I'm not at my computer

But usually the funny name is typed in and rejected

Before the real name is typed in and accepted

see, the rp

etc

for this one I actually made a custom one to one pixel art jerkagree

2

never ended up importing it anywhere which is a shame

but the motion is identical which I thought was funny

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:31 PM

emma put so much effort into this

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:31 PM

And I WILL! Again!!!

Once we. Start playing hahaha

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:31 PM

yee

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:31 PM

I guess the real big question I have left is

Who are we starting with

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:32 PM

i suppose-- should i reuse the kiko sprite art for aoko or make new art

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:32 PM

And are we rotating to begin, only giving everyone their channels once they enter, or what?

Pesterchum overlap isn't an issue bc that's already happening in #dischum

Kinda like the whole, once you enter you're now Elevated so to speak lol

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:33 PM

we could just start post-entry too

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:33 PM

Plus sticking to the familiar format of HS pov shifting for a little might be nice for grounding the tone

Well, sure

:p

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:33 PM

like

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:35 PM

I'll say this -- having everyone enter is the Leviathan Battle of Homestuck fanworks (edited)

We can simply

Choose to skip it

And go straight to the mostly unexplored

Esp bc we're nixing guardians

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:35 PM

A young girl stands in an unfamiliar landscape. Mountains of garbage stretch endlessly out to the horizon, broken only by wide expanses of sickly, yellowish water lapping at the plastic-and-grime shores. The smell is indescribable, but if some kind of vaguely omniscient narrator were to try their hand at it for the sake of the story, they would do it like this: it smelled really, really bad, you guys. What is the girl's name?

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:36 PM

And I really can't imagine that too much interesting stuff will be in our characters' homes that they, y'know, immediately leave for basically forever

There definitely could be the element of "we've already seen it," too

I can't really imagine we'll top Joan's entry

In terms of

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:37 PM

yee

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:37 PM

Other entry sequences

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:37 PM

yeah

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:37 PM

We just choose the sprites n shit right away

Plop down on our lands

Okay okay okay I like it

Cool as fuck

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:37 PM

yeet!!

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:37 PM

Do we even, like, wanna play w the entry items

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:38 PM

nah

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:38 PM

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:38 PM

they never come up after entry

and its not like we're gonna see the exile stations in character

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:38 PM

Well, they technically do in that the exile stations are --

Yeah lol

It's never important

And I'm not gonna fuckin

Draw u

A goddamn, idk, model airplane themed exile station

Just use ur brainhead

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:39 PM

oh no

my one weakness

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:39 PM

Brainheaduse

So yeah

Okay the other thing is

Homestuck is second person present tense (edited)

Commands are written in second person imperative

Usually w the character being addressed

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:40 PM

>Aoko: get a fucking grip

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:41 PM

John: Bleat like a goat and shit on your desk.

No!!! Why would you do that! And yet, the gleaming, polished surface of your desk... it beckons.

Etc etc

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:41 PM

intrusive thoughts

1

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:42 PM

There's also a Next button when the author can't think of or doesn't feel the need for a new command

Lines in the arrow equal to how many kids (edited)

==> for four player game

======> for 12 player

Etc

Because GET IT, IT LOOKS LIKE A HOUSE SIDEWAYS

HOMES TUCK

Oh! Interests

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:43 PM

-==>

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:43 PM

I am falling asleep but if u wanna talk about WHAT PEOPLE LIKE and HOW THEY EXPRESS THEM

etc etc

Feel free

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:43 PM

im gonna pass out too lol

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 13-Jan-22 12:43 PM

Hah

Gn

aorticAblution 13-Jan-22 12:43 PM

gn