HOUSETRAPPED - SBURB ENTRY GUIDE

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【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 05:39 PM

The first phase of Sburb is basically, like, The Sims. Except the sim is your close friend, and if you dont get the sim to finish the crafting tutorial, their house gets hit by a meteor.

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 05:40 PM

talk about hostile design

crowd boos

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 05:41 PM

And if they do finish it, the meteor crashes anyway, but at least your friend's house gets teleported into the Medium a millisecond before impact. (edited)

Fuck the word incipisphere I know it's correct but medium just is fucking better

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 05:42 PM

this is homestuck we left the idea of correct behind long ago

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 05:43 PM

tru

so the crafting tutorial is as such

and most of these words mean fuckin nothing

except kernelsprite that one is important

lmao we got this far and havent mentioned prototyping at all yet

okay

homestuck works on asymmetric coop multiplayer

one person is using the wii u gamepad, building and editing the other player's home, placing items down, etc. the other player is inside of the video game

only a few items are necessary for the tutorial

and theyre mostly for introducing a mechanic we are going to be like

thoroughly ignoring the intricacies of

alchemy works thru, fuckin, computer science jokes.

and its just abt encoding and reencoding like

captcha codes

from captchas

because

funny

into physical objects

which the game's crafting system can understand as, the platonic ideal of the object

platonic ideals are actually weirdly important to homestuck

and then u spend in-game building currency, grist, to actually Make the damn thing

and by u i mean the player on the wii u gamepad (server player)

first you get a "cruxite dowel"

which is like

fuckin

cylinder.

its in this big fucking thing called the cruxtruder

also i have to eat dinner

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 05:52 PM

oh no does that mean i have to take over

ok heres how entry works

you get a magic cylinder and a magic punch card, you put em in a machine that cuts the cylinder the way the card says, and then you put the cylinder in another thing that makes a glowy magic whateverthefuck that's vaguely personally relevant

using the fancy magic thing you get makes your house vanish and then voila youre in the game

easy

does any of this matter? not really it serves no purpose in a story or gameplay sense except to facilitate the fucky aroundy nature of homestuck act one

which is why my vote is entry is something way simpler-- the magic something item just comes with your free crafting workbench and its just a matter of figuring out how to use it or die trying

once you figure yours out the next person in the matchmaking lobby has theirs spawn in or some shit

idk

the point is homestuck is stupid and while theres stuff we want to steal and play with or else we wouldnt be here planning this rp theres also a lot thats just

who tf cares

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 05:59 PM

only reason I mention the cruxtruder is that the kernelsprite is there

which

Is

Prototyping

The thing we've been not talking abt for like 7 years lol

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:00 PM

oh right yeah

you get a magic glowy ball, throw a thing in it, and the ball takes on the form of that thing

its got a real soft spot for corpses

then it basically becomes your tutorial npc filtered through whatever got thrown in

chuck in a clown? your tutorial npc cackles madly and helps not ay all

also, when you enter the game, all the enemies get the traits of whatever the heck you tossed in too

now all your enemies for the rest of the game are clowns

have fun with that

finally, you can actually throw two things into your glowy ball and they will just kind of get mushed together

throw your dead grandmothers' ashes in after you're in the game? now youve got clown granny haunting you and whispering that you need to push start to open thet menu

and since you were wise enough to throw her in after entering the game, you dont have to fight trash mobs with a beloved family members' face

but wait! what if! we dont throw in anything before we jump in! then our enemies wont have any extra abilities like... clowning... or arthritis...

except no, not prototyping anything is a Bad Move and breaks the game so make sure to use something

like itll let you enter but it breaks a bunch of important flags and shit its a very poorly designed game really

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:08 PM

U can also use it as another revival method

Dead friend? Prototype em!

Need to god tier, but your dream self is deceased and moon bed blowed up? Prototype your dream corpse! (edited)

Homestuck?

Stupid!

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:09 PM

surely there could be nothing existentially horrifying about turning your own dead body into a tutorial npc

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:09 PM

merged ofc w the corpse of your beloved godpet

dreamjade had it

ruff

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:10 PM

so yeah! fun

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:13 PM

Your entry item is also

What your exile station will look like

Shapewise.

So it's like that fun irony of. If u don't figure this item out. it will kill you dead

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:14 PM

great game 10/10 would play again

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:15 PM

1 and a half hats out of five

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:18 PM

realtalk i think mr bro (if that is his real name) had the best playthrough of sburb possible

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:24 PM

As in he simply

Did not?

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:24 PM

yes

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:25 PM

Yes

Died as he lived

Crushed by flaming rocks

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:25 PM

high as fuck

aorticAblution

you get a magic cylinder and a magic punch card, you put em in a machine that cuts the cylinder the way the card says, and then you put the cylinder in another thing that makes a glowy magic whateverthefuck that's vaguely personally relevant

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:27 PM

Cylinder machine is called the cruxtruder, u hit it w something heavy and the spring lock top opens, and that's where the first dowel and the kernelsprite come from. Also the moment u do this a countdown timer on the front of the cruxtruder begins -- that's the timer for the meteor

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:27 PM

tho its not like if you dont open the thing the meteor wont hit you lol

now you just get to see how long you have to figure out how to eat an apple made out of mysterious blue crystal

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:31 PM

U take the raw cruxite material from the cruxtruder, put it into the Totem Lathe

I think this is a lathe of heaven joke

Basically this is where you program what thing u want the cruxite to actually, represent

U do that with punchcards

Because

Funny computer science joke.

We'll get to punchcards in slightly more detail in the sylladex thread which is ONE OF THE VERY LAST ONES FUCK YES

U click carve or whatever, the dowel converts ur punchcard binary into an analog -- oh god, have I become the computer scientist making jokes

Instead of grappling w that I am going to go to the final part of alchemy, the alchemiter

Big ol quad air conditioner sized platform w a lazer arm

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:34 PM

you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:35 PM

U put the carved dowel on a little scanny platform, and a lazer arm scans the value, and the machine subtracts the materials to make the thing from your inventory, and then, makes the thing!

In the tutorial you get a punched card for free, and that's what u put in the totem lathe, and that makes your thematically relevant entry item

John had to eat an apple (LIKE THE BROBLE NUMBNUTS), Rose broke a glass bottle, Dave cracked an egg, Jade uhhhh

Shot a pinata w a gun????

So the thing abt witches

They're change

But from the storytelling perspective they're also, like, The Odd One

So a lot of Jadeisms are reflected both in Feferi (Witch of Life) and Kanaya (Sylph of Space)

I don't know where I was going with this

Just wanted to point out like

Witches be pattern breaking yo

Once you finish your entry puzzle!

Your house gets teleported, unless you're the space player, in which case it's your house and a nearby volcano

And the kernelsprite, which you better have fuckin prototyped, splits into 2

The sprite part is the tutorial npc and is, a bit of a mess. Maybe its own thread. Will get to it later

The kernel is just a copy of the data

It too is a computer science joke

Bc, get it, like operating system kernel, like fundamental way it works

And also like a kernel of an idea, because blah blah blah blah blah

Anyway. Splits into light and dark, one half to Prospit one half to Derse

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Your house gets teleported, unless you're the space player, in which case it's your house and a nearby volcano

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:41 PM

isnt it neat how one in twelve people lives by a convenient active volcano

aorticAblution

isnt it neat how one in twelve people lives by a convenient active volcano

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:41 PM

skaian defense portals

(edited)

hate that it's like

oh cool mystical coincidence

no, a robot god decided where you grow up

:/

fine

didn't want to not know that my girlfriend and I were the two titans of life and doom and that we were turned into these because my former self pressed the self destruct button on skaia for some fucking reason

I do not like Xenoblade Chronicles

But yeah kernel is transmitted to both kingdoms queens transform reflecting the prototypings and imps start spawning reflecting the prototypings too (edited)

Imps are

Just heartless kingdomhearts.

Small bug guys big bug guys

Reflect the world or main idea of where they come from

But instead of like, Jade's planet's imps reflecting her prototyping and only Jade's

Every prototyping stacks

So

Enjoy fighting

Very fucked up lil dudes lol

They're still mostly cute tho

I want someone to throw in a Lego Minifigure of a Droid from the clone wars

And then the imps will be a species made solely of himbos

It'll be great

What else. Oh yeah

Build upwards

Your server player is still doing the whole the Sims thing technically

And u probably don't have a jetpack or other mobility option yet

So kill dudes and use that to get to your first gate, which'll warp u to your first questing area on your Land

Lands!!!!

Forgot!!!!

Okay lands are genuinely fun

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:47 PM

unless you have a helpful tinkerbell or happen to be curious if typing pchooooo into the punch card thingy makes something neat

lands!!

ok here we go

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:47 PM

Every single player gets! A whole ass planet to themselves.

Name scheme goes as follows

LAND OF X AND Y

(usually)

and then everyone ingame refers to your Land as

Like

loxay

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:48 PM

what was the plan for kikos land again

it was great

land of refuse and xyloplankton

aka lorax

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:49 PM

Usually your name for your Land is either, thematically relevant, or something to do w like, Noble gases or the Greek concept of the elements or some shit

My fucking god

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:49 PM

and the quest was about fighting pollution

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:49 PM

:ohare:

We keep just

Inventing the Lorax again

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:49 PM

there are worse things to reinvent

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

Like homestuck

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

eyes the gdoc open on my computer

aorticAblution

land of refuse and xyloplankton

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

Can we give O'Hare girl kikos land

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

yes

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

No no I love Homestuck I just hate the fuckijn

Hope its drenched in

The negativity is rage and it's good bc it's telling us where to cut

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

yee

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:50 PM

I genuinely do fucking love HS

It makes me smile I love spending my time w it

This wiki shit

Some of the mechanics explaining

Not fun

Just

Bad

And it sucks bc I loved almost every second of the classpecting wiki part

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:51 PM

it is fun! its a lot fo fun

but... yeah

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:51 PM

J do believe it's salvageable

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:51 PM

almost there, tho

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:52 PM

Yee

I'm sure I'll fuckin

Write my leprechaun treatise another day

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:52 PM

its salvageable you just need to slice away all the, you know, awful shit

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:52 PM

Aranea lives within me sadly

I should throw in more 8s

Just make this less readable

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:52 PM

so thats where she went after game over

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:52 PM

Got dropped in lava right

Swallowed up by light

Er

No

That's the opposite of what happened

Her ring got got

aorticAblution 12-Jan-22 06:53 PM

fade away and we never see her again

【ＳＫＡＩＡ】 12-Jan-22 06:53 PM

Good ending

Fuck you, troll Lucy van Pelt

Okay I think that's the bulk of Sburb entry

Oh shit forgot the chain

Basically bc it's asymmetric multiplayer, but you can only enter by being the host player for someone else who's the server player, your party forms a loop

John connects to Jade connects to Dave connects to Rose connects to John

that's it

That really barely matters after entry

Only determines like

What exile station for whose exile

(Johns exile goes to Rose's station, bc she was his server player, etc etc etc)

And so yeah!